Wacky Diet Inventions

From the brilliant minds at FadDiet.com, some of the weirdest diet inventions…ever. These are actual inventions that were actually patented, according to the author of the site. Gotta love someone who does their research. Happy Monday!

The Red/Green Light Fork

This fork has a green and a red light. When the green light is lit you can eat. Then, the fork senses that you have eaten something so it makes you wait a while (red light). Tick-tock tick-tock Green Light!

This might not be a bad idea but I doubt it would work for me. I would just put more food onto the fork each time and shovel it in my mouth.

This patent was awarded in 1995

The Diet Dam: Hannibal Lecter Style

The easiest way to not eat is to block off your mouth right? Seems logical to me. Just stick this grill over your mouth and you won’t be able to stuff your face.

How precious would it be to see one of your co-workers wearing this thing around the office? I think that would be hilarious.

The Hand Near Mouth Alarm

I am a perpetual rule-breaker. That is why I love fad diets so much. Using a fad diet to lose weight is like telling all of those celebrity doctors to shut up. It is just fun. Fad Diet users are rebels. We know they aren’t good for us, but they do let you lose weight fast.

So I was reading this patent description and it said: “All other things being equal, the success of an attempt to lose weight depends heavily on the dieter’s limiting of his calorie intake. Unfortunately, however, most people with weight problems have compulsive habits which cause them to eat food habitually and without conscious awareness that they are doing so. Such a person may be totally engrossed in another task and may eat whatever happens to be within reach without ever noticing that he is doing so”

I may feed myself without knowing about it sometimes but I also thought of a way to beat this alarm. It took me all of about 10 seconds to come up with my “Hand Near Mouth Alarm Hack” and I can summarize it in two words. “Dog Bowl” or three words “Pie eating contest”.

The Man cannot keep me down.

The Calorie Counting Fork

This fork will count your calories for you. That is pretty nice. I am not sure how it works and from reading the patent it involves a stack of index cards with codes on them so I don’t think it is automatic or even easy to use.

Too bad. I would like a fork that counted my calories for me. Of course I would just cheat by trying to swirl as much pasta into each bite as I possibly could.

The All-In-One Exercise Suit

Why go to the gym when the gym can go everywhere with you? It is no coincidence that this patent was issued in the 1970′s right when the Village People where rising to fame. Unfortunately some of the original members of the village people were kicked out because the record company thought that they weren’t marketable enough.

One of the original members of the village people wore an all-in-one exercise suit. It was quite a site (sic) I am told. Whenever he raised his arms to do the Y-M-C-A thing he burned about 13,000 calories.

Filed Under humor, What's New 

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